Since All My Friends Are Doing It...

Sexy Information for You and Yours

2006-01-19T11:51:00.000-08:00

You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty
You're the dream girl of many men
Yet they never seem to treat you right

Guys Like That You're Fun

You're the type of girl guys brag about knowing
That's because you're cool, funny, and laid back
You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys
But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you

What Do Guys Like About You?

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve.
If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through.
But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack.
You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

What Color is Your Passion?

Your Power Color Is Orange

You live in the fast lane. You love action, risk, and competition.
You're spontaneous, enthusiastic, and persuasive.
But you're also easily bored - and love to rebel against structures.
You resent rules ... as well as people's attempts to control you!

What's Your Power Color?

Your Aura is Orange

Your Personality: A total daredevil, you'll try any thrill. You're easily bored and you prefer to be on the go.

You in Love: You see love as an adventure, and you find most men dull. You need a man who challenges you!

Your Career: Your ideal job is flexible, fun, and maybe a little dangerous. You have the makings of a private investigator or extreme athlete.

What Color Is Your Aura?

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader.
You're willing to fight for what you believe in...
And willing to make tough decisions.
Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

You Are a Tulip

You have a wild, experimental side that craves change.
You often switch jobs and men, always looking for something better.
But deep down, you're also very well grounded and content.
And you will come to know that the life you live is already ideal.

What Flower Are You?

You Are Confident Sexy

You're one sexy chica, and you know it.
You've got the confidence to strut your stuff...
And approach any man who happens to catch your eye.
You may make a guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

A Bonus Is Warranted Per Touchdown

2006-01-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

What is with it and our society's acceptance of mediocrity and stupidity? Why has it come to the point where we accept gross mispronounciations just to appeal to the lowest denomenator? Just because a group of uneducated individuals believe something is done one way does not mean that the rest of us should adjust in order to better serve their needs. Allow me to explain.

The word "culinary" is to be pronounced "que-lin-airy". Yet time and time again, whether it be in conversation or on television the word is pronounced "cull-in-airy". And what really gets me is that the institutions which teach this art mispronounce the word on their own commercial. Why would they do this? To appeal to uneducated idiots who would be turned off by the proper pronounciation. Obviously the institutions know that the smart individuals will recognise this nonsense but will be expected to accept it and apply anyway. If they want to come, they will come irregardless of the pronounciation of the word. The institution is trying to get those fringe attendees by appearing as stupid as they are.

Unfortunately, this is a snowball effect. Not only do we have words like "culinary" and "mesothelioma" being ridiculously mispronounced, it grows and grows. And will continue to grow because we as a society are told to accept these kinds of things and not speak out against them. If we did, we might "offend" someone or "hurt their feelings" or, God forbid, they might not "like us" anymore. Kiss my ass. If ya'll don't know hows to speak too good I gots ta tell you.

Let's be realistic here

2005-12-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

Reading over Andrew Ferron's livejournal, I found a commentary on labour unions. The commentary and my response are as follows:

If You Can Read, Don't Thank a Union
All right. I was taking a break from working to check up on some aviation news and one of the discussion topics on Airliners.net (my favourite commercial aviation website) had a thread about Northwest's mechanic strike. It makes for some interesting reading, and is available here: http://www.airliners.net/discussions/general_aviation/read.main/2473722/

Apparently, some 880 former Union mechanics have crossed the picketlines system-wide and have returned to work, perhaps because without an income they cannot support their families anymore. While I feel bad for them, they made the right decision to go back to work.

Anyway, somebody had posted this link on the discussion board, and commented that it was very classy of the mechanic's union (Airline Mechanics Fraternal Association or AMFA) to make the following page on their website: http://www.amfa33.org/strike/scabs.htm

The page says: "The following are scabs [Note: Union members who have opted to cross the picket lines and return to Northwest] that have been positively confirmed by AMFA Local 33. These individuals have crossed our picket lines and are now helping NWA ruin yours and their lives as Technicians, Cleaners and Custodians. They are willing to work for substandard wages and work rules to hurt labor and themselves and will forever be labeled SCABS for crossing a legal picket line. They join a work force at Northwest Airlines that includes external strike breakers, some internal union members, managers and vendors that are taking your jobs. NWA will know now what they can do to these people, because they know they have no backbone. In affect, they have become slaves of NWA. They are selfish anti-union people with no principals or morals. They can not be trusted."

Then, it lists a great deal of names, including pictures for some people, who have been seen going back to Northwest. What a horrible thing to do--these Union slobs are completely classless. They are supposedly a fraternal organization, but go out and denounce their co-workers who, perhaps, could not pay the bills without going back to work.

Some further insults to their coworkers can be found here: http://www.amfa33.org/strike/scab_evaluation.htm

What the AMFA does not seem to understand is that without Northwest Airlines, there would be nearly zero demand for aircraft mechanics, cleaners, custodians and other types of maintenence workers in the Twin Cities. They want to bankrupt Northwest, but aside from Sun Country and Champion Air (who both use non-Union aircraft labor, as far as I know), there would be no aircraft maintenence facilities in Minneapolis/St. Paul except tiny fixed-base operators and corporate jet facilities.

By continuing to try and hurt their employer, they are only shooting themselves in the foot. Unless these idiots prefer being unemployed and starving to death, they should learn to cooperate with Northwest and help their employer through difficult times. United Airlines' employees have accepted pay cuts in order to keep their jobs, and Northwest's mechanics need to nut up and do the same, or they're going to be in rough shape in the near future.

Perhaps the answer is to stop negotiating with these idiots altogether, and fire them all. Northwest has already hired a large number of replacement workers, and they seem to be doing just as good of a job. And the best part is, they're non-Union.

The AMFA and other labor unions need to stop behaving like insolent children and understand just how fortunate they are to have jobs in the first place, let alone amazing benefits.

Even if you don't agree with my opinion of unions in general, I'm sure you can agree that the public defamation of comrades is completely ridiculous. You can't blame someone for cooperating with their employer, especially if they need the job back.

Comment:

Not having come from a union household, I can understand your confusion regarding the way unions operate and the intricacies regarding their practices. My father is a proud member of Teamster's Local 710 and an employee of Roadway Express, working as a dock man.
By listing the names of the SCABS, the union was in fact doing nothing wrong or classless. The SCABS are the ones who indeed lack class in this situation. You mention the union being a fraternal organisation and that is exactly why the union is right in what they have done. Those SCABS entered the union under the agreement that the union would negotiate for them better wages and benefits with the company while simultaneously agreeing to stand firm with the union in any incident of strike. The SCABS broke away from the fraternal order and dis-labeled themselves as "co-workers". They no longer wanted to be co-workers with their union brethren and instead joined the enemy. They are no longer their co-workers and the union members have every right to treat them like the dirt they are. The SCABS lack the backbone to stand and fight with their fraternal brothers, which you so eagerly attack, and in doing so jeopardise the possibility of anyone at all gaining better conditions. Who then is the evil in the situation?
The strike is the union's trump card to use against the employer if the employer is unwilling to reasonably negotiate with the union. This most certainly is not tactic thrown around lightly and is never something done without a great deal of careful consideration. The union's job is to protect their members and only when all other options have been exhausted will they implement a strike. The union knows as well as anyone how detrimental this procedure can be to the workers, but when successful is far more detrimental to the employer and thus provides the workers with the wages and benefits they deserve.
Union's are a key element in our workforce. They help to prevent organisations from mistreating workers as was common practice around the turn of the century. Without the emergence of the union the American workforce would not have become the powerhouse which built this nation into the industrial machine that it has become. The unions ensure that manual labour workers which cannot afford the best of medical benefits on their own receive this compensation. They are looking out for the working man who is the backbone of the economy.
They don't owe any specific loyalty to their employer. To say that the workers should kowtow to the companies demands is completely contrary to everything the union stands for. They are not defaming any of their comrades as the SCABS no longer are their comrades. Bowing to the demands on the employer is the gateway to reducing working conditions and workers rights. It's a tremendous snowball effect.

In conclusion, you, Mr. Ferron, are completely out of line here. You have no right to pass personal judgment on the union workers and cut them low as human beings because of their choice of employment. To call them "union slobs", "classless", "insolent children", and, perhaps most disgustingly, "idiots" really lends testament to your lack of knowledge on the issue and paints you as the truly classless individual in this situation. If you don't agree with labour unions or their tactics, that's perfectly acceptable; there is nothing wrong with that. But to turn your disagreement into a personal attack on them solely because of their employment and beliefs lacks tact, taste and class in every way. Bottom line: if you don't know what you're talking about well enough to give an editorial commentary, just stick to the facts. As Abraham Lincoln once said: "It's better to say nothing and be thought a fool than than to speak up and be proved one."

Epilogue:

Look, I've got no problem with disagreement or differing views on issues. That's what I thrive off of. But if you're going to do so, be able to back it up. Have some knowledge on what you're talking about and not just misinformed conceptions. I discord, I enjoy opposing views, I enjoy logical commentary and discussion. But when you don't have the facts, you end up looking about as foolish as Howard Dean shrieking like a Hebrew in a gas chamber...<---see, controversy right there :)

Mein auto und nacht

2005-12-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

Well here we are. A new template and a new post. I get a little distracted from time to time on a count of September 11th and all and so that is the reason for the lag. Fear not; the mind is still churning up controversial goodness and the mind's eye is just as critical.

Thanksgiving Break was quite refreshing. The moment I stepped off the plane I felt a wave of relief to once again be back to civilization and away from this isolated wasteland of a region. How people can tolerate living here is beyond me. Terrible road conditions (apparently in a region with this much snow they still haven't figured out how to properly use a plow), sheltered world views, poor choices in fashion, no culture venues, and generally being lightyears away from any sort of true metropolitan area. Do not even try and make the case for any "city" in Iowa. The entire state of Iowa has fewer inhabitants than the city of Chicago, not counting the suburbs. If your entire state has less people than a cingular city, let's not pretend we know what a "city" is. Deal? The Twin Cities are a nice little place, but depending on where you are in Iowa, you're at least 3 hours from arrival. I once had a woman tell me "I just love Decorah. And I couldn't justify not living in a small town when I'm so close to such a major metropolitan area." I'll give the poor lass the benefit of the doubt and assume she was referring to the Twin Cities and not Rochester, because if that was the case, God help that troubled soul. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but being three hours away from the nearest "major metropolitan area" is not exactly what I'd consider in reasonable distance.

Once I got back on campus, I was re-reminded of an issue that had been pestering me for a little while now. The Facebook now allows for the usage of photo albums on top of the already selectable photo which accompanies one's profile. I, for one, have used this album as a method of tomfoolery rather than submitting photos which are legitimately of anyone I know, even myself. For my primary photo, I also prefer to put up a fun picture of fictional value rather than one of myself. But at any rate, on to the issue. There are certain individuals on facebook that put up photos of themself. Or at least it seems like they are pictures of themself. But wait a minute. Now I have seen this individual in person and they look absolutely nothing like that. Somehow these individuals doctor their photos (either with photoshop or lighting or what have you) in order to make themselves appear far more attractive than they actually are and thus cover up their lowly opinions of self-worth and personal short comings. A particular offender would be a girl on Luther's campus by the name of Katie L...no, wait, that's too obvious...K. Lovell. Yes that's better. K.L. has been up to this sort of chicanery for the past 25 years or so, and either because nobody says anything to her about it, or because she has become so diluted in her lies that she now believes them as truth, she continues in this deceitful process. Imagine how disappointed you would be if you saw someone's facebook photo and believed them to be attractive, view the entire photo gallery and see the same evidence, but when you finally meet them in person you are tempted to respond with "Who in the world are you?"
This is not the case with myself and this individual as I knew who she was long before Facebook's emergence. But here's the issue at hand: once you start doing this, your life is a fiction. If anyone meets me in person and is disappointed I'm not a 300lb black man, a fairly homosexual looking Danny Kaye impersonator, or whatever the case may be, then I feel that's their own fault for their extreme naivete. If, however, you represent yourself with what is clearly a picture of yourself and doctor it in some fashion so that you appear more attractive, then you have engaged in a deceptive practice. You should stop doing this. If you're not comfortable enough with your appearance as is to post a photo of yourself without making strange alterations, then perhaps there's someone that you need to talk to. Dr. Peter Clagnaz, perhaps. Just a thought. But please, friends, do not allow your life to become a fiction. The day will come when everyone shall find out of your trickery and who then will have the egg on their face?

Everything comes out in the wash.

Me and Jesus The Pimp In A '79 Granada Last Night

2005-10-30T14:45:00.000-08:00

Well the All Hallow's Eve weekend has come and gone. But boy was it a hell of a time. I fretted earlier in the week that it would be nothing short of a disappointment because there was no T-Bock's party this year for All Hallow's Eve. For those of you who don't know, the parties at T-Bock's were by far the greatest parties Luther's campus has ever known. It provided a great setting being held in the old Odd Fellow's lounge above the bar. There were several rooms, an old wooden bar, furniture and much gayity to be shared by all. This included encounters with Varoon which made just about any experience worthwhile. But after thinking further about the matter, I realised something; this is the calm before the storm. Any weekend when it seems it will be nothing but boring, you best batton down the hatches because shit is going down. And shit indeed went down. Tasty shit though.

This weekend started off on Friday with a gathering in Bruce Larsen hall in which there was much spillage on the part of Gay and Katie Mauer. A new friend was made in the form of Denise Richards and afterwards, we all departed for the Corner Bar. Corner Bar is traditionally a very inviting and friendly place and far more upscale than the other options available in Decorah. Upon getting there, however, the bar tender decided to be a rectum taster and begin carding us randomly and for absolutely no reason. Some of us are 21, others are not, but all were indignant at this prospect because you need only be 19 to enter the bars of Iowa. While bars can make their own rules, this choice on the part of Corner Bar is foolish for a couple of reasons. Number one, the individuals which attend Corner Bar are better people and not there looking for trouble; simply looking to do business with their establishment and have a good time. Secondly, if you are going to be a rectum taster and disallow non-21 year olds from being in your establishment, you need to card them at the door, not after they've been in your establishment doing business. You, the rectum taster, is now the one standing to be in trouble, not the underage participant. And I told Rectum Taster this, and this is when he became enraged.

For anyone's reference, Rectum Taster said his name is "Jaime" but didn't have the balls to tell me his last name. And so "Jaime" comes up to me and asks for my I.D. I had not been drinking thus far, but decided to toy with him a bit. I says to him I says "I tell you what. I'll take my I.D. out and you can check it. And if you find I'm not 21, I'm going to wait here and you're going to call the police. And you've already served me tonight, so guess what? You're going to lose your job and this bar is going to be fined $5000." I followed this up with a knowing smirk and a slight elevation of the eyebrows to which he responded with "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!" because he realised I had him beat and was not intelligent enough to respond in any other way than fury. So I laugh at him and begin walking out and continually instigate him to call the police and call him a 'tough guy' which only serves to rile him up more and more, per my intentions. So he then goes inside and starts carding my comrades who were equally indignant even though they were 21 and left the bar but not before pouring pitchers of beer all over the floor. They had paid for these pitchers though, so they had the right to do with them as they pleased. Once we get outside, one of my amigos gets in a very heated argument with Rectum Taster and we do our best to restrain him and keep Rectum Taster away from said amigo. At some point in the argument though, towards the end, Amigo says to Rectum Taster "Eat my ass!" and I walk up right next to Rectum Taster and say to him "And you would. Because you're a faggot." So we left and got a free pizza from Mabe's across the street and dined on that and were quite jovial. And that was Friday night.

Saturday was extraordinarily enjoyable, starting again in Bruce Larsen hall and this time ending at Sabor Latino. The Mexicans were holding a gathering of tasteful proportions there and I served as negotiator being the skilled Mexicano that I am. I was able to negotiate better prices on drinks as well as entry fees into the establishment and make a few friends along the way. It was a fun time. I spoke with a slutty strumpet, a slutty geisha girl, slutty dominos, a slutty DaRule, and many other characters along the way. I suppose just on this account alone, it doesn't do much justice to how fun it was, but be assured, it was a grand time to get out and have a gathering on All Hallow's Eve when none was expected.

As Lou Al Ford would say, you can be optomistic and disappointed, or pessimistic and pleasantly surprised.

THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!

2005-10-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a long time for sure. Far too long by some estimations and not long enough by others. I myself simply decided to get back in the swing of things because the world cannot properly turn without my opinion on matters and has been a bit off kilter for a few months now. So here we are, 2005-10-24. Enjoy, or don't; either way, leave comment and let me know.

This year at Luther College a new faculty member joined the ranks in the form of Bernd Geisler of Germany, visiting associate professor of chemistry. Bernd's resume was beyond impressive, holding many qualifications and titles that were so complex sounding and incomprehensible to the reading eye as to their true meaning that one might think they were written in some combined form of German and Mandarin Chinese, but indeed were in our own native tongue of English. Two qualifications which were able to be deciphered were a doctorate in physics and a doctorate in chemistry. Even if those were the only two which could be understood, clearly, he was a bright individual. And so one would wonder why he would ever come to Luther College being head and shoulders intelligence-wise above most individuals in the world?

There was a day early on in the year whilst I was dining in the CAF that I saw a very out of place individual wearing all black: tight black t-shirt tucked into tight black slacks ending at the top of perfectly polished black dress shoes. This individual also had a mane of thick, flowing, curly black hair which gave the appearence of him being in some sort of wind tunnel with its constant state of blowing behind him, never once coming forward. Immediately upon seeing this man, I knew who he was: Ordinary Touch the Magician. As you can imagine, I was greatly surprised that such a celebrity would be gracing the Luther College campus and was quite excited as I anticipated some sort of upcoming performance, most likely in the CFL. As we all know, Ordinary Touch the Magician is one of the most highly regarded performers in the world and at the top of his field. Few individuals are even held in the same esteem as him, such as Rick Wilcox or Anton . Ordinary Touch also features one of the most riveting light and sound (much of which is Benny Benassi) shows to accompany his performances which is one of the key events which make his shows so riveting.

A story came my way that on the first day of class, Ordinary Touch entered the lecture hall dressed in his traditional all black garb whilst "Rock Me Like a Hurricane" blasted from an unseen stereo stystem and certainly set the tone for the kind of amazing semestre to follow. And as I would see Ordinary Touch around campus, he was always with a smile and enjoying himself, because that's what magicians do, they enjoy themselves as they are quite charismatic. And so time passed and I would wonder when this performance was going to occur and still why was he here? Why was this very accomplished performer masquerading as a professor at Luther College? Reading the background for "Bernd Geisler", I found that he has travelled to many a college throughout the nation and undertaken similar roles and so I began to speculate that perhaps it was part of his routine. If he was in a certain region for his tour, he would inconspicuously slip into a local academic institution to pass his free time between shows and also meet a great many people. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

But then the day came. A report found its way to my office that "Bernd Geisler" had undergone some sort of breakdown and subsequently resigned from Luther College the same day. Apparently, "Bernd" entered class considerably late and immediately went to the board (which has yet to be confirmed whether it was a white board or chalk board). He proceeded to cover the entire board with all the faults regarding his person and when finished, turned to the class and yells "YOU THINK IT IS EASY TO LIVE WHEN THESE SO MANY THINGS ARE WRONG WITH YOU??!!" "Bernd" then went on for approximately twenty (20) minutes regarding these faults and how much of a failure his life is. When finished, he put his head down and dismissed the class who were in a perplexed und bewildered state, and understandably so. Yet not one student attempted to console him or see if he needed some help; and there we have the key to this mystery.

Ordinary Touch the Magician was not satisfied with our purportedly "very friendly" campus. Ordinary Touch came to us because he heard the rumours of how "friendly" everyone is here at Luther and how warm the campus is. Upon arriving here, he most likely received a warm and friendly reception, as everyone does upon their arrivals. Yet as time passed, the true colours of our fine campus began to show. Our campus is not the warm, friendly environment it enjoys having people believe. Oh sure, you will say hi and greet the people you know. But who amongst us can honestly say that when walking down the sidewalk they have not been stonewalled by the only other individual coming in the opposite direction? Or when you attempt to strike conversation with someone in a non-essential conversational setting the person has looked at you as though you are some kind of pervert? Yes, our campus treated Ordinary Touch in this same fashion. He came here with nothing but good intentions and warm, efficient German greetings. And we turned him away and took him for all he had.

Now one could speculate that perhaps his tour dates changed and he needed to get out in a hurry, that indeed he did have some sort of breakdown for whatever reason, or even that his affair with Carrie Beaver was the cause of this. But look deeper my friends; look beyond the surface. This was no breakdown. This was the final Luther College show of a very skilled and talented performer. Are we to honestly think that we could break a man of his calibre? Most certainly not. Ordinary Touch realised that he needed to get the heck out of here while he could for this campus had no more to offer him. Sure there was a great quantity of wild, uninhibited and steamy sexual acts to still be explored with Miss Beaver, but a man of his high profile can find someone like that anywhere in the world (no offense to Carrie Beaver intended). So he staged this breakdown to alleviate any red tape in his resignation, make people forget him and create a clean break in order to move on. Move on with a heavy heart, but what more could he do? So remember my friends; if we are to be thought of as a friendly campus, let's behave like one. When you see someone coming on the sidewalk, greet them. When you are in the lunch line sans your usual companions, talk with someone. Making social contact with strangers only while drunk simply does not cut it. And if you don't drink and you still live a life of not reaching out to those around you in a sociable manner, then that must change as well. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met. Ordinary Touch the Magician will, unfortunately, remain as the first part of that equation for us: a friend we haven't met.

Hurry Hurry Hurry! Come see Jerry the Three Legged Calf!

2005-05-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, well it was fun to get back into the groove of things with that last posting, and so I'm going to move on to my next rant in this new post rather than continue on the end of that lengthy one.

Why are we expected to like things solely on the premise that society tells us they are good? And when we don't like them, we are considered fools and mocked for our beliefs. "You don't like Dave Matthews!!!??? HOW CAN YOU NOT!!" "You don't believe Napoleon Dynamite was the best movie ever!! Are you stupid!?" "(insert mod-rock band name here) is awesome. Their sound is so unique. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT SOUNDS LIKE EVERY OTHER GROUP OUT RIGHT NOW??!! NO IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE!!"

What the hell is going on here? Why am I not allowed to like the things that I like even if they go against the grain? I don't like the music of today, end of story. There is occasionally a band that puts out a nice song or two, but for the most part, there is nothing that can stand the test of time. There are very few groups that create more than one or two albums. Does anyone stop to wonder why? Hmmm, perhaps it's because their sound was no different than the 376 other flavour of the month groups we see appear each week and they have been replaced by someone new and more "cutting edge." "Wow man! The Killers are so cutting edge, they use an accelerated drum pattern in their music and even incorporate the synthesizer. Let's worship them as gods!" Wake up jackass, the synthesizer (or some form of it) has been used for over 30 years now. There is no longer anything "cutting edge" about the synthesizer. Does it produce a cool sound? Certainly. But it is by no means something to get thrilled just because it's in a song. Any clown dicking around in a recording studio can create a hit song within hours of playing with a synthesizer (see Gary Neuman--Here in My Car). And as for the drum pattern? That drum pattern is no different than the drum patterns used by groups like Franz Ferdinand and half a dozen other bands of the day. And where did they all get that "cutting edge" idea from? Why from Modest Mouse of course. Yeah, remember that group kids? Yeah, they were there first and they have all the same general sound of your beloved "Killers" yet with far more ingenuity. If you think I'm full of shit, listen to "Float On" and don't tell yourself it's Modest Mouse. Pretend it's "The Killers" or "Franz Ferdinand" or "The Bravery". Pretty interesting, isn't it?
If we could all just educate ourselves about the roots of music I feel many of these issues would be avoided. Everyone should listen to the Jazz, then listen to the Blues, then listen to Rock & Roll, then listen to Rock, then listen to Disco, then listen to Funk, then listen to Soul/R&B, then listen to Hip Hop, then listen to Nu Wave, then listen to Metal, then listen to Alternative and then listen to Rap. By that point you have covered most things worthwhile listening up to about 1995. After around 1995, the music industry shit down it's leg and started caving in to pressure to turn profits rather than turn out great music. Obviously there's alot of good stuff that I left out of my list there and it's up to you in what order you want to listen to things in. But my point is please educate yourself about music. Find out where it came from. Find out who influenced it. Find out what the song you just heard is a sample or remake of. It's alot of fun and it's really pretty neat when you start drawing the connections. But don't just listen to what you're "told" to listen to by your equally uneducated cronies and the media. The music of today when compared to the great music of yesterday is of no more musical quality than me baning on a trash can (and don't try and tell me that's music--fuck off). Anyway, that's about all I have to say about that.

"I haven't had sex in 3 years."

2005-05-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, the school year has come to an end and I feel like writing a new blog post. Yes, it has been a while, but I just wasn't feeling motivated. Now, however, I have some stuff to spout off from the balcony about.

Firstly, why was Oaklahoma State baseball coach Larry Cochell forced into resignation? What did he do wrong? He didn't call Freshman Joe Dunnigan III a nigger. He said he wasn't a nigger. Why is it wrong to complement someone by saying they do not exemplify the qualities of an undesirable person? The word nigger is used to make a black person look undesirable as it has many negative connotations linked to it. Yet, Coach Cochell said Dunnigan did not exemplify those qualities and was punished for doing so. Furthermore, Coach Cochell said that there are undesirable white people and there are good white people. Undesirable black people and good black people. He finished by again praising Dunnigen for being one of the good guys. Dunnigen and his family supported the coach, yet, because of pressure from the outside in an overly sensitive society, one of the most successful coaches of college baseball history was forced to step down. What has this accomplished? Why did this need to happen? This happened because our society is so wrapped up in being politically correct that we cannot make any deviations from the letter of the law. In an attempt to create more tolerance, we have in fact created far less. There is no room for tolerance and leniancy--everything is red or green, there is no inbetween.
The tables have been turned, they have been reversed. It is now a world we live in of reverse discrimination, reverse racism. If a white man doesn't like a black man or agree with something he says, he MUST be a racist. There is no other explanation. Why else would someone not agree with someone? They MUST be a racist. Yet, if a black man doesn't like a white man or agree with something he says, that black man is heralded as a forward thinker and the reason that he doesn't like him or agree with him is clearly because that white man is a racist. That white man must be against the black man. Yes. That's why he isn't liked. It couldn't possibly be that they simply don't get along for a myriad of other reasons because as we all know, if you're white, you get along with ALL white people. Why could you not like them? They are your same race.
It's a different world now. It's not really any better either. You could in fact make the argument that it's far worse, and not just for the white man. The cause of the black man is not getting any better either. As long as our society and our government continues to provide systems and programs to facilitate the "needs" of "underprivilaged blacks" in our country, those same "underprivilaged blacks" will stay in their same "underprivilaged" state. How will they ever get out if they are not forced to go and make something of themselves? If they are able to simply rely on the government and social programs to carry them along, what motivation do they have to create something for themselves? And if our society continues to allow them to believe that is acceptable, then that belief will continue to be passed down through the generations. Certainly I'm not saying that all blacks are lazy or that all blacks sponge off the government. That's not what I'm saying at all. There are many whites, mexicans, plutonians, etc who do the exact same thing. Naturally by even saying these things, anyone who reads this will brand me as a racist, but that's alright. I've accepted that and in fact it only serves to prove my point that I stated above. People come into this country everyday and have been for hundreds of years. Those people came here with nothing and had no opportunities being given to them. They were forced to create something for themselves or die. There really was no inbetween. Certainly it was a hard life and they struggled, but they went out there and they did it, and they were better for it. Why is it not promoted in our society today to do the exact same thing? Why should we cater and nurture and hold the hand of adults rather than encourage them to stand up, put their work clothes on and get a job? And again, this can apply to any racial group, not just blacks. I'm speaking in general that the tone of our nation has changed. We are no longer the hard working, prosperous and diligent land that we once were. We are a society of loafers milking anything we can from the upper echelon of providers. Ultimately, this will be our demise. Our nation's willingness to punish people for being successful rather than encourage the lower ones to become successful promotes nothing more than self-destruction of the American Dream.

Master of Econ is Pulling the Strings

2005-04-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Well this past week has been interesting to say the least. A friend of Scott's, Ali McDougal, came down from UMD to visit us. She was a delightful young lass and quite entertaining. The majority of the weekend was fairly mellow and pretty routine up until the point when we left the bar on Saturday. Mitch, Scott, Ferron, Johnny, Ali and I walked over to the Cum & Go convenience store for food. Well upon arriving there it is noted that there are several guys from Upper Iowa creating trouble in the parking lot. As we are going into the Cum & Go, a few of them follow us in and start hassling us about Lord knows what. Johnny and I talk with them and calm the situation down, or at least we thought we did and so we left the store. No sooner do I step outside do I hear one of the toughs out there yell "Hey watch out!" and as soon as I turn around I get clocked. I shake it off and look up and there's now about 15 of them out there and still more coming; it was total mayhem out there. As much as I would have liked to enact revenge, the numbers were not in my favour so we got the hell out of there and went to the hostpital at the behest of my friends. The result: A black eye and a broken nose. I've since decided that I'm just going to live with the broken nose. Yes, it is a bit crooked from it's normal position, but it's nothing of a deformity. I also have no pain or breathing problems, so I'll just leave it be.

On that note though, I have decided to give up drinking for the remainder of the year with the possible exception of one weekend coming up. And even on that weekend I won't venture from the house. It's not that I am afraid of drinking or even being attacked. No, the fact of the matter is that had I been sober at that time, this would never have happened. I would not have been in that situation to begin with. And if I was, I would have known better than to do some of the things that I did. I would not have left the store. I would not have tried reasoning with those fucks. And if I had left the store, upon hearing "Hey look out!" I would have known not to simply turn around but instead to duck-turn-swing simultaneously. Had those things happened, I would not be in the situation I am now. But don't get me wrong. I'm not the type of guy who looks back on things and says "If only I would have..." because I didn't. And if I had, I wouldn't be where I am or who I am today. I am, however, quite good at looking back and learning. I'm not so good at planning ahead to avoid such things, but I sure do learn fast not to let it happen again.

This weekend here at Luther College is the annual Frying of the Trout, or Trout Fry as the youth refer to it as. It is a festival in the middle of a field with 100+ kegs sponsored by one of the 'Frats' here on campus. I didn't go last year and do not plan on going this year either. I had pretty much made up my mind that I wasn't going to go before the incidents of last week, but that certainly gives me another reason not to. With that many people and that many drunks and my propensity to get into sticky situations, only more bad things could come up. But the main reason is that I am coaching my kid's soccer team in LaCrosse (about an hour away) the next morning and if I went to that festival I'd drink easily over 20 beers which would not make for a comfortable morning after.

Anyway, I am going to start working on my paper that is due in the morning. That should be a lot of fun.

Global Promo...

2005-04-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Every so often a man comes along who changes the face of the music industry. Who revolutionizes the way we view our lives and the world around us. Who brings the world around him together in global union of musical togetherness. John Eide is that man.

John Eide has been on the underground circuit for years spinnin rhymes for nickles and dimes and now has come into his own to join the mainstream circuit. Only this time, it's gonna be different. This time, his style won't change to suit the big record companies and the radios. To suit the white boy cruisin in his Chevy Cavalier with red rims thinkin he's a gangsta. Our man is gonna tell it how it is, straight from the streets. This man has gone to the other side and back.

It all started 3 years ago while swimming in Lake Minnetonka. Suddenly an undertow took him under and he was as good as dead. Miraculously though, he awoke on the shore, naked and holding an empty 40 of Olde English and bowl in the other hand. And in his back pocket was a CD. A CD of beats. Eide took these beats to his home where he began practicing his flow and writing rhymes for hours and hours. He finally perfected his style and started taking it to the streets. Known as an undergroud god for his ability to take anything he observes and turn it into a lyric, Eide has both dazzled and incensced his observers. A master of the roast but also a wizard of the street-tale, Eide is a force to be reckoned with. J-T Money has called Eide 'the greatest thing since Prince' and Slick Rick has said 'I'd give my other eye just to hear that man rap one more time. Damn that nigga good!'

Look for John Eide. On your street corner. In your alley. In your bed. And most importantly, on the CD rack.

Pat, I'd like to buy a bowel...

2005-04-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'll start off this post with a shout out to all my readers, whether they be in Illinois, New York, Paris, Detroit, Colorado, Japan, Bahrain, or even Iowa. I'm glad to know that some individuals are clever enough to take some time and entertain themselves with my rantings. I also greatly enjoy any and all comments that are posted, so please continue to do so or begin doing so if you haven't yet.

Enough of that sentimental crap, on to the good stuff. For those of you who don't know, I am the coach of a boys U-12 soccer club here in Decorah, Iowa where I go to school. For those of you who do know, I'm the coach of a boys U-12 soccer club here in Decorah, Iowa where I go to school. It's a very rewarding experience and I now understand why people enjoy coaching so much. To have the ability to tell those little shits to go run a quarter mile whenever I feel like it or to be able to vent my frustrations by putting them on the end line and making them run suicides it a tremendous feeling. We have a game Saturday morning at 10:30am CDT and they are to arrive a half hour early. What's more is that I informed them that I have a sheet with all of their home phone numbers on it and will be calling their houses Friday night (quite possibly while drunk) to make sure they're in bed by 9:00pm. Then, taking a page out of Coach Butkus's book (CJ knows what I'm talking about) I said to them "And I shit you not, if I call and find out you're not in bed we will run on Monday like you've never run before." Perhaps I'm just sadistic, who knows. But all kidding aside it is a fun thing to do and I enjoy it alot. It's fun working with the kids and will stay that way until we get our first loss. The following practice would not be one that I'd like to be at if I was one of those kids...

"I'll buy that for a dollar!"

So there were these people wearing these T-Shirts the other day. They said on them "I'm not gay, but some of my friends are." Now, I'm not sure what the goal of those shirts were, but I got to thinking about it and I feel it really sent the wrong message. The way it sounds when read comes off as "Well hey, I'm not gay, it's just some of my friends. Don't get me mixed up in that business." While I'm still not sure what the objective would be, it may have been better to simply put "I have gay friends" or "I like watching my friends take it up the ass" or "I've experimented while drunk". Maybe that's why they don't have me on the T-Shirt commitee though, who knows.

So tell me, does the phrase 'Cunt Magician' sound like some sort of smoothe operator or just a dirogetory term?

(in the voice of Bruce Weber) Uh, yeah, before I end this entry I just wanna thank some people uh, I'd like to thank Dee cuz he works really hard in practice and...I'd also like to thank Stephanie for catering our meals for us and being friendly to the guys, I know they really appreciate that and uh...I wanna thank Jesus and Ronald Reagan and most importantly Terri Shiavo...

Sarah Griffin is a real cunt...but I'd sure love to fuck her.

2005-04-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Many moons have passed since my last post, but that happens occasionally. Certainly there were things to 'blog' about, but my ADD often prevents me from getting around to it. For example I just now lost about 5 minutes pondering why they don't clean the bugs out of the exterior light fixtures. Anyway, this next blog idea I came up with after I killed a drifter to gain an erection. Or maybe it was during a discussion with John Eide of Minnehaha Academy. It may be a bit scattered because I can't totally recall the logical progression of the conversation, but I'm sure you'll get the drift.

The question was posed: 'Who is more white? Carlton Banks (of The Fresh Prince of Bell Aire) or Tiger Woods (the golfer).

This question was pondered at some length and at several different angles. Firstly, we discussed the individual qualities of the two in question. Carlton lives the lifestyle of a rich, pampered white boy. He is quite nerdly and smart, but does that equate with more 'whiteness'? He listens to Tom Jones. He goes to the Country Club and also Golfs. Tiger too golfs and has done so his entire life. It is unknown what music he listens to, but he has certainly made a very comfortable living for himself. Furthermore, Tiger speaks not only in voice but in speech patterns typical of a white man. Carlton at least used some black lingo and had a bit more black sound in his voice. Then comes the dating situation. Carlton dated black women. Tiger goes with a white woman. And that fact could really go either way. Black men and white women quite often date one another, but this is no ordinary white woman or even a hott white woman from a rap video. This is an Upper Manhatten Sax Fifth Avenue white girl.

After making these points though, we thought about what it all comes down to: Stereotypes. What is the stereotypical black man? What is the stereotypical white man? These questions can help to aide in the answering of that original question of who is whiter, but then one must wonder if that question would ever have been raised had these stereotypes not been in place. Furthermore, this discussion was brought to an entirely new philosophical level with a concluding statement by John Eide.

"They are products of their environment."

That really is kicker in the whole argument. That sheds light onto the issue in a way it hadn't necessarily been thought of before. We hear all the time about rappers and thugs as 'products of their environments', but we don't often talk about people who are seen in more favourable lights as 'products of their environment'. It is often assumed that it was choices that they made that caused them to be there, not the influences around them. But certainly we must consider the environment as a key factor in the development of even these individuals. These more 'successful' individuals were reared in a different fashion and were already set on different paths than those who were not quite as 'successful'. Was it a choice they made to go on those paths? Perhaps. But did the environment they grew up in influence their decision? I would say yes. Tiger Woods was born into a mixed race family, but his choice to golf was not of his own. It was certainly influenced by his parental unit. Similarly, Carlton was born into a wealthy household. But his choice not to turn away from that and take to the streets was greatly influenced by his family and upbringing.

There is also much debate about how much of the end product is defined by genetics/biology as opposed to environment/choices. I would say that human development is affected by genetics in so much that it can determine certain levels of intelligence, abilities/disabilites, physical characteristics. But that's only the surface of development. The greater part of development comes from the social development which occurs when we are raised by our family and friends as well as make choices based on those upbringings. Our biology may tell us that we cannot run very fast. But that only limits us to running very fast. Our environment will then determine what we CAN do since we cannot run very fast. Our environment will determine whether we are 'successful' or not. Our environment will determine whether we are 'white' or not.

You're disinterested in what I say...I guess I know nothing

2005-04-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

I wasn't planning on blogging right now, but something got my ire up and I wanted to get it off my chest before I went to bed. I was trying to talk with a friend of myne, but she had a guy over at the house and he was on the computer instead. So I talked with him for a little bit and didn't really care for the way he typed and talked. I'm not sure how to exactly explain it, but I'm a pretty quick as well as accurate judge of character, it doesn't take me long to get a read on someone. And I'm sure the rest of you know what it's like to not care for someone but not exactly be able to put what it is into words. Anyway, I told her watch out for him because I didn't really care for his character. But rather than heeding my words as an old friend whom she's known for a number of years now, she scoffs at me and then allow her friend to condescend me as they sign off. That's fine, go ahead and mock me, it's not the first time it's happened and it's certainly not going to be the last. But then don't pretend like you value my opinion and enjoy asking my advice on matters when in fact I give an opinion and since it doesn't line up with your's you put no value into it.

And see, that's just the thing. Often times girls find a guy they can confide in and come to talk over certain problems. The only issue is that we as the listener can only offer so much sage advice before it is then left in the hands of the speaker to decide whether or not they will act on it. This brings me back to a time earlier this year when a young lady was coming to my comrade Mitch and asking him what to do in a certain situation she was having with a guy she was involved with. Each time she would come and ask him and each time she would then go and defy his advice. She would each time feel bad for defying the advice because she would realize he was right but she chose not to listen. And eventually, Mitch stopped caring. Can you blame him? So why, I ask, why do girls do this? Why do they come to us and ask us for advice, go against it, and then regret having done it? Or why do they reject advice that is given to them but then later on expect us to be sympathetic to their cause when had they followed our advice in the first place, none of this would have happened? I don't understand it, and I know no other guy that I've encountered does either. We have our own theories and such, but I don't know if anything is the right answer. So, since I know that girls read this, perhaps some of you could comment and help me out on this one. I would be very eager to know what the logic is behind that.

I'm a drunken Indian, give me my own casino!

2005-03-29T21:54:00.000-08:00

Current Song: Various House Music on the Playlist "Kissing you, felt so good..."

Well, back from break and it sure feels great. In the words of Ice Cube "It was a good day". I couldn't agree more, Cube, because today was the best and happiest I've felt in a long while. I don't know if I have an undiagnosed case of Leah Hein syndrome (seasonal depression) or because I just got invigorated and ready for life after taking a one week hiatus (with Joey Hietpas) but whatever it is, I love it. And to come back to Luther and have it be 294 Kelvin and sunny, what more could a man ask for?

While thinking about what to make as a return entry, I at first contemplated something about Terri Shiavo, but won't get too in depth regarding that topic. I was all set to go ahead with it after I found her blog online (http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/) but then noticed another valuable site. This site (http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/03.22.05.htm) caused me to decide the whole Terri Shiavo thing had gotten a bit out of hand and was being beaten into the ground. I mean, after all, once the Ultimate Warrior of WWF fame is writing articles about it in his blog, what more can one really do? So, I will limit my Terri Shiavo discussion to two (2) simple points:
1) If/When Terri Shiavo ends up winning her NCAA Tourny Pool, where do the winnings go should she die before the tourny has ended?
2) USA Today Headline--'Shiavo to Police':"I killed Robert Blake's wife."

As you can see, those are two very pressing issues. I forsee a long and drawnout legal battle regarding the first one, and to be honest with you, I myself am not entirely sure where the winnings should go either. To the parents? Well, you have to take into consideration that they were against her gambling addiction in the first place. To the husband? You must consider that he has always been jealous of Terri's winning ways when it has come to NCAA brackets (Terri has won 13 of the last 15 years in her pool). Regarding the second issue, however, it is good that she finally came forth and admitted to this henous crime so that we can all have piece of mind. I know that I for one have had many sleepless nights regarding who murdered Blake's wife and the fact that the killer could still be on the loose. Now, to know the killer is confined to a hospital bed and has no real chance of killing me in my sleep, I can once again get some good rest.

Moving right along, let's discuss fashion. While walking around campus today, I was for the most part pleased with what I saw regarding the weather to clothing fashion sense of Luther's student population. Many girls were wearing skirts which pleased me because it's a fun spring thing to do. My favourite skirt of the day went to an unknown girl who I believe to be a freshman. She was wearing a very sexy pink skirt, but what made it work was that she had these big sexy shapely thighs. You know those kind of thighs. I'd follow legs like that anywhere. And so, for the most part it was a good experience. However, you still had those unfortunate individuals who had not updated their wardrobe and felt it was still fall out. Please discard your dark browns and boring shoes and get into the spring fling ladies. I, as well as any other man you encounter, will greatly appreciate it. And if they don't, they aren't worth your time as they have no fashion sense themselves.

Lastly, I've started a new line of away messages. These messages will change daily and regard my sleeping/showering habits. They will be titled "In bed with..." and "Showering with...". I will insert the name of a non-mainstream athlete or celebrity in there to replace the periods and allow for humour to ensue for the readers (provided they know the name). If you do recognize the name, I encourage you to IM me and we can share a good chuckle about it. However, this new lineup does mark a bit of sadness. The traditional line of sleeping/showering away messages that many of you have come to know and love will, unfortunately, be retired now. The hardest one to come to terms with has been "Showering...upon my return we shall make love in the ways of olde." who in a press conference earlier tearfully announced that the time had come for him to move over and allow a younger and up and coming performer the chance to compete. Always a class act that guy.

Seacrest Out!

Ordinary Touch, the Magician

2005-03-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost Spring Break now. The sun is starting to shine more, but the weather is still a bit too chilly. Don't get me wrong, I hate the heat more than the cold, but there's a medium temperature that you get for a few days a year that are just perfect. As far as enjoying the summer heat though, that's one concept I can't understand. Spring Break probably won't be overly exciting, but I should be able to get together with some old friends and things of that nature. I'm sure by the end though, I'll be looking forward to coming back to school. This is where my life is now, and while it is nice to go and visit my old home, this is home now. It's a realization I think that most people in College come to find at some point.

The best part about going on this Spring Break, however, is what will come afterwards. The end of Spring Break will signal the beginning of the Softball Season here at Luther College. I much enjoy that, in fact you might say it is what I look forward to for the entire year. Last season, I assembled a pretty good team and we came within a game of going to the Championship. This year, we have re-tooled and put together a squad that I feel will be superior to what we had last year, both mentally and physically. Similarly, not long after we return from Spring Break, the Major League Baseball season will begin. That is by far the best part of any year as it signals the beginning of new life and order being restored to our society. Without baseball, our lives are in disarray. This year, I will be traveling to the Library (otherwise known as the Metrodome) to view opening day vs. Your Chicago White Sox. I eagerly look forward to watching the New Look White Sox trounce the Twins this year and show who the real powerhouse of the Central Division is. Perhaps after the game, we can all stop at Gay 90's.

Anyway, I hope everybody has a friendly Spring Break, whatever you may be doing, and I shall look forward to seeing you all again upon my return to campus, or wherever else it might be that I would see you normally. And remember: Tami Magner played for the Waukon State Championship Basketball Team.

It's amazing what you'll find face 2 face

2005-03-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

Finally my title applies to the article...

Yeah, so today I go for a drive with Film Noir Girl and she goes all Hollywood on my ass. I don't know what her deal was, but it wasn't pretty. We're driving along and we got on the subject of relationships. I told her that it really doesn't bother me to be alone all that much and she didn't seem to be able to understand this concept. And so I said that I also haven't really found a girl here at school who I've felt like I could be with. And she asks what my standards are and I tell her that the girl definitely needs conversational skills, but she also has to be attractive. There has to be some physical attraction. And then she makes this disgusted sound, you know that sound girls make, and I go "No, that reasoning is total bull" because I knew exactly what she meant by it. I said "If all that mattered was personality, then I'd just date a man. There has to be some physical attraction." And so she snaps back at me "Well you're not exactly God's gift to women." And so then we arrive at Wal-Mart and she goes in to get her McDonald's and I come with and we sit down and start talking. Over the course of the conversation, we somehow get on the topic of my high school football career. And I start saying how I wish I could go back and just do it one more time. Then she starts berating and belittling me and saying that if it's so important to me then I should just play here at Luther. And then she starts saying that all I'm ever going to be is someone like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynomite and dwell on the past and my high school football career and that'll be all I'll amount to. And I say to her "You don't even know what it's like. You've never had anything like that." And she goes "Well I could have gone and become an opera singer." and I'm thinking "Then go f*cking do it". You can still do that, but I can't ever go back and play in a high school football game. Not even playing in college will substitute for that and anyone who played high school sports will understand this. So then she starts insulting me further and cutting me low and tops it off by telling me "You have no ambition in life." Now, anybody who knows me knows that I'm never short of words and I'm gonna tell you what I think. But at this moment, I had to just sit there and take this beating from this cowardly person lashing out at me. And why? Because I needed a ride home from Wal-Mart. Had we been on campus, I would have really let it fly. But I didn't want to take the risk of her telling me she wasn't going to give me a ride home, so I just sat there and allowed her to continue to kick me in the balls.

Now, I can't really blame her for her actions though. Looking back on it now, it's clear to me what was going on. In psychology, there is something called the projection method where you have shortcomings/issues/problems in your own life and in order to cope better with those demons, you project those shortcomings onto others in an attempt to make it seem like someone else has the problem, not you. Clearly this individual has some demons they are wrestling with and on this particular day, I was the recipient of her abuse. That's fine though, I'm a grown man, I can take it. And if it helped her out some to get these things off her chest, then that's fine too, I can't hold that against her. But what I would suggest is that she tries to get some help for this. It's certainly not healthy to continue on in this manner and it's quite clear that there is something(s) that she needs to talk about with someone, a professional, and get them cleared up. This isn't meant as an insult in any way, but simply a hope that they seek the help that they dearly need.

Dancing is Forbidden (Dancing ist strein Verboten)

2005-03-07T21:59:00.000-08:00

Katie lies, you can see it in her eyes...

So yesterday, Ross "Econ Warrior" Brown and I went for a walk. We decided it was good to take advantage of the 60+ degree weather in March and so off we went. We hiked straight across campus and kept heading straight until we hit the river and could go no further. Well, we continued along the river and were throwing things into it and watching them get taken along by the current. We then found this huge ice layer on the ground and were able to lift it up and chuck it in. It looked like a glacier going down stream. Well, we looked accross the river and noticed that there was an island on the other side with huge glaciers and we wanted to see if we could lift them up and toss them in too. We continued down the side of the river, then turned around at the bridge and heading back in the other direction towards the island, this being probably a mile hike simply to get to an island to see if we could throw some ice in the water. Well, much mud and scrapes later, we managed to get over there and sure enough we were able to pry the thing loose and get it in the water using simple tools (lever) we constructed from nearby branches. It was pretty cool to watch it float on down the rapids of Decorah. And since we had pretty much reached the climax of our journey, we turned around headed back to campus, but not before stopping at Subway for heated chicken sandwhiches.

Well I've never had blood come out of there before...

2005-03-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday to everyone. I'd like to start off this post by giving a Big Ups to my buddy Ross "Econ Warrior" Brown. A couple days ago, I was walking with him and said I saw some deer in the woods. He said that he did not see them, which was understandable since there were never any deer to begin with, but I then said "Maybe it was Rob Deer." Ross immediately knew who Rob Deer was which surprised me given the relative obscurity of the player. And for that, he gets a Big Ups.

Moving right along, I'm going to make a couple of shorter posts today rather that one rather long one. The first one will be a recap of the events of my Friday Night, one filled with blood, profanity and the police. Ross, Evan and I went to a party at the Mint House on Saturday around 10:30. We were having a good time and enjoying ourselves when absolutely out of nowhere this guy who none of us knew and had not talked to the entire night came up from behind Evan and punched him in the back of the head. The blow knocked him down and on the way down he smacked his head on the keg causing a real pretty welt/gash down the middle. He also got a cut on the top of his head as well. And of course, as if it wasn't manly enough to hit him in the back of the head, he was so tough that he immediately ran away and locked himself in a room so Evan couldn't get to him. As my mother said when I told her the story this morning "Well that's pretty queer." And I couldn't agree more. The worst part about it all is that they broke up the whole party because of this idiot and his actions. AnyWho, we went home and called the police and gave him a rather drunken account of what happened and he told us to go to the Mint House in the morning and try and find out who the guy is and then come to the station and fill out a statement. We did this, and it turns out that the kid is Chris Cody, the brother of Luther student Kaylin Cody. Kaylin is the same prick who tried breaking into my room with 8 other guys to give me a hard time. I wasn't there at the time, but I sure am glad I wasn't since I'd hate to mess with somebody so tough like that. A family of low-lifes, what can I say.

Make it again! And bring it back with urine like I asked for!

2005-03-02T20:45:00.000-08:00

This whole steroid business is really getting out of hand. I mean, I'm all for witch hunts and persecuting people with no real rhyme or reason behind it, (heck, I do that every day of my life), but at the same time, there must be somewhere we draw the line, especially when it is affecting something such as baseball.

I've been tired of hearing this nonsense for some time now, but what prompted me to write this article was an interesting piece I read about Julio Franco. For those of you who don't know, Franco is 46 years old (allegedly; some people speculate he could be 48 or older since there are no official birth records) and still playing professional baseball. And not just playing, but starting at first base for the Atlanta Braves, one of baseball's premiere teams. Last year at the age of 45, Franco hit .309 with 99 hits and 57 RBI's over 125 games. He also holds a career record of .300. Those are pretty darn good numbers, not just at his age, but for guys who are 20 years younger than him. Franco could not have played this long and been so consistent over his career (for career numbers check www.baseballreference.com) had his dedication to the game of baseball not been so great and his work ethic the stuff of legends. Yet, there are always skeptics, one of those being former Major Leaguer Andy Van Slyke. Van Slyke is most known for his days of 3rd base with the Pittsburg Pirates where he was a decent player to be sure. Van Slyke stated that there is no way that Franco could not only be productive for this long but also keep up the physique he maintains by entirely natural means. This bothers me very much. I am as much of an Andy Van Slyke fan as the next guy as he is often a voice for old school baseball (which I am a proponent of) but I am afraid I cannot back him on this one. To accuse such a player of Franco of using steroids is simply ridiculous and shows just how over the line this witch hunt has gone. Julio Franco is one of the last proponents of good, quality baseball. His timing is impecable and he knows how to go out there day in and day out and simply perform. To accuse such a legend as him of things like steroid use is a sacrilidge.

Furthermore, on the topic of steroids, I would like to come out and say that I really am not all that concerned whether today's players use them or not, even though as I stated before I am a proponent of the old school ball. That being said, however, I think it is important for use to look at the game in two different stages; the pre-steroid and steroid periods. All I am really concerned about is whether or not the players are putting a good and exciting product out on the field. As long as that continues to occur, I am more than happy to watch the game of baseball. It is certainly important to look at the two eras for what they are and understand that many of yesterday's players may have been more talented than some of today's players who use supplements, but that doesn't turn me away from the game any. Baseball is still my one true love, something that has always been there for me through the thick and thin, and I will always enjoy it. Sans exceptions.

Saturday Night in Leeds

2005-02-26T14:15:00.000-08:00

Current Songs: V.I.P Lounge Album

This album was designed as music you could (should?) have sex to. Upon listening to it, I would agree. It's a very mellow type of music, yet has great driving beats. Definitely something worth listening to and definitely something worth trying out. Maybe if Mitch stops by, I will.....

Anyway, it's Saturday Night. And as my friend Scott informed me whilst he was on his front porch in his rockin' chair--"Warm out today...warm yesterday...even warmer today." I would have to agree with his rather suthun' interpretation of the weather. Quite gorgeous weather we've been having for Febuary. I would love for it to keep up this way, but it's doubtful that it will. The best part is that the sun is shining. Not that I go outside much, but when I do, I much prefer the sun to be shining. It really lifts the spirits and ignites the Latin Passion which stirs inside of me.

"I am Fernando Martinez, and this, is Emotion..."

Friday Night was spent with all 4 of the Beatles sober as we played MVP Baseball 2005 from 3:00 PM CST until 2:00 AM CST, stopping only 1 hour for dinner. We had quite a fun time as Andy and I laboured to get our organization in working order. We started out with the newly formed Nationals, but they're just terrible so we cut our ties and became the owners of Mest, having Pedro Martinez as our lead singer, Carlos Beltran on drums, Jose Reyes on Lead Guitar and David Wright on Bass. Willie Randolph is of course the Tour Manager. Anyway, it's a really cool game because you manage everything down to the prices of seating, peanuts and hotdogs, so it takes alot of tweaking and such. Many long hours will be spent on this venture I am sure.

Fashion Party Tonight ft. Daniele Luppi

Tonight the Beatles and I will be attending a party at The Oaks where Scott and I will be cuttin' some tracks. The XOP Sorority is having a live band at the party, but inbetween sets, we will come on and keep the party moving. Andy is providing his laptop computer so that we will have our playlists on there and can easily access the music rather than flipping CD's around, and Mitch is the A.V. guy. Rumour has it that Mitch has been trained by Lou Al Ford in the audio visual arts and is his most recent understudy. Big Ups to Mitch. Before the party though, I'm going to dinner with Film Noir Girl at Sabor Latino II where we shall dine and regail one another with tales of old.

Ducharme---I wash myself

An issue which has been on my mind lately, actually two issues...no wait, now that I'm typing this I've remembered a third...are three issues involving the shower here on my floor. Number one (which is actually the third I came up with) is 'Why do people not keep the door open after they leave the shower?' It has been repeatedly discussed via e-mails and flyers outside the shower door that you must leave the door open lest you want mold and bacteria to grow and form inside the shower room. This is just common sense and common courtosy. I cannot fathom how people do not realize that the door needs to be kept open when since day one we have been told this. It is certainly a reflection upon these individuals values, and a negative one at that. Secondly, the water pressure in all but one of the 3 showers is wholely unacceptable and poor. In the first stall, the water barely trickles out of the faucet and could be likened to trying to shower in a gentle sprinkler (one of those ones which sprays straight up and goes back and forth slowly). The middle one is not much better and also has a downside of its own. Being in the middle and the way that the floors are slanted, all the filth from the two side showers flows into the middle shower stall. Therefore, if you do shower in that stall, you'll be standing in a pool of other people's filth. I do not understand why these shower heads have not been fixed but it is certainly something which needs to be addresed. Thirdly, 'Why do people come to the shower fully dressed?' I mean, when I lived on B1E last year, everyone walked to the shower in nothing more than a towel, like a man would. And it was a much longer and more perilous walk for someone fearing to be seen because being on the first floor, everyone in the building (girls included) were going through that hallway while you were on the way to the shower. But this year, there are people who go to the shower fully clothed and carry the towel with them. What, may I ask, is the purpose of this? Are you in fear that on the way there your towel might drop and another man would see that you have a dick? I have a dick. You have a dick. We're all men, we have dicks. What is there to be ashamed about? Or maybe it's some sort of shame for the fact that you've been told it's unacceptable to be naked in front of others? Maybe it's a lack of self-confidence in your body? I don't know, but to me, it seems a bit odd.

If you thought that was asanine...

A recent report on MLB.com has shown that the Kansas City Royals may soon be in for a big payday. According to sources speaking under the condition of annonymity, Pabst Blue Ribbon has made an offer to the Kansas City Royals which will increase the payroll of the Royals by an additional $20 million dollars each year. The only catch is that the Kansas City Royals will hence forth be known as the "Pabst Blue Ribbon Royals". Now, this idea of corporate sponsorship of teams is nothing new, as in Japan, all the teams are named after companies, not cities (i.e.--Yomiuri Giants [biggest media corporation in Japan] Orix Blue Wave [a Japanese Financial Services Group]). But, this would certainly be a new and seemingly strange concept to American Sports. The people of Kansas City would also have a key question to ask themselves: What is more important; having our name on the team, or having an additional $20 million of cash to play with? And this question is far more pressing than alot of teams seeing as how the Royals have one of the lowest payrolls in all of baseball right now (a good portion of their money comes from luxury tax penalties paid by other owners). Even if approved at some point, the deal would not take affect until the 2006 season at the earliest. In my opinion, it would be a great opportunity for the team to really expand their horizons and get into competition with the other teams, not only in the league, but their division as well. Times have really passed Kansas City by as far as competitive baseball is concerned and this might be the spark they need to get it in gear. Not to mention, Pabst Blue Ribbon Royals has a much greater ring to it than 'The Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim', don't you think?...

I'll close today's blog with a shout-out to my good friend C-Sizzle. She's currently studying in Michigan and looks to have a bright future ahead of her. I remember how the two of us would enjoy passionate latin love making for hours into the night, often times on the hood of my car beneath the San Juan stars. Tengo amor para tu por todo mi vida.

Now that's not in the playbook, but it shoood be.

2005-02-24T23:58:00.000-08:00

Current Song--"K-Jee" by M.F.S.B off the Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack

So, tonight we had the elections for SAC Concerts Chairs. There are two spots available and therefore, only two people can win. Even if 17 people run, still, only 2 can win (just to clear that up). The unfortunate part of this democratic scenario is that two of my good buddies were running for the position, Mitch and Scott. A third candidate won outright on the first vote and Mitch and Scott were left in a tie. A second vote was taken and then Scott won by an unknown margin. This vote, however, pitted brother vs. brother. Hall vs. Oates. Torre vs. Stottlemyer. Grace vs. Millie. A terrible concept indeed, and one not forseen by anyone. Had this been a republic and not a council, then all members would have equal sharing power of the duties leaving this vote as a non-issue. Naturally in a set up such as this, however, that really isn't possible. At any rate, irregardless of who won, we now have a man on the inside which means that since one of us is on the council, all 4 of us are. That's the most important thing.

"Oh, Peter Parker's here! Now the party can really begin!!"

Associated Press (45min ago) "The reported relation between Tony Parker and Peter Parker has not yet been confirmed. Kings management has released a statement which discussed what security measures will need to be in place should a connection be found. Calls to (Tony) Parker's agent were not immediately returned."

I purchased the new MVP 2005 baseball game for PS2. I haven't played a whole lot since I'm still in the middle of this hectic week, but from what I've seen it's quite enjoyable and advanced. I'll write more about it later.

"A monkey drinking his own urine. L O L"

The Ultimate Song--Boston's "More Than A Feeling"

I have many, many more thoughts going on right now, but it's almost 2:30 now and I've gotta be up at 9:30, so I'll make it up to you with posts throughout the weekend. In the meantime, remember: W.W.R.S.D.? (What Would Rubén Sierra Do?)

Bi-Curious Eye for the Asexual Guy

2005-02-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well, unfortunately, that's not a show yet. But given time and a little luck, it will be.

Moving right along, I would like to comment on a phrase that I oft here people say which irks me upon its entrance into my inner ear canal--"Good Times". No, I'm not talking about the first television program with an all black cast, that sits with me just fine, even the later episodes when the father (John Amos) passes away and Florida is left to run the family and keep ol' J.J. in line. No, I'm referring to the ever popular 'conversation filler' as I like to call it. I'm not sure how or when this phrase started, but it really needs to go away. Upon doing some research as far as its origins on the Luther College Campus, I have found a taker for the start of this horrible disease--John Eide. John has told me that he began the spread of the phrase "good times" upon his arrival to Luther. He has told me that his frequent usage of the phrase, and his subsequent incessant partying resulting his getting to know hundreds, even thousands of people on this campus and their hearing him speak and use this phrase caused the saying to spread like wildfire. Whether this account is true or not is yet to be seen, but I suppose I may as well let the old boy have one last hurrah and give him credit for this epidemic. Way to go John Eide from Minnehaha Academy--you're an inspiration to us all. GOOD TIMES!!

So I bought a Jiggle Billy the other day...that was fun...

This past weekend was all in all a real piece of shit to look back upon and admit that I was a part of (especially since I was the cause of the shit). But amongst that shit-storm that hit me in the face at about 35 Nots coming out of the NorthEast, there was one bright spot amongst it all--New Found Friendship. That's right I made a new friend. But not just any friend, as I often make new friends; this friend was formerly a person where there was quite a bit of tension betwixt us, bad blood perhaps, open wounds, however you wish to put it. That person's name is Stef, and I'm glad we patched things up. It's much better to have her as a friend than as a person I awkwardly pass on the sidewalk due to events of old. As Lennox Lewis would say "Big Ups!"

Now that I've said that, let me close my blog for the day by making one other other point---"Big Ups" was created by Lennox Lewis, former Heavyweight Champion of the World. The song in which he coined that phrase is "Down for the Count" by Talib Kweli, Hi-Tek, Xzibit, Rah Digga and Lennox Lewis. It's a great song and was actually the title song for one of the Madden games a couple years back. You should check it out and if you can't find it, IM me and I'd be more than happy to send it to you. At any rate, while Stewart Scott of SportsCenter may have popularized that phrase as of late, it's important that we give credit where credit is due.

Alright, Here We Go

2005-02-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I've decided to join the mania and participate in blogging. I believe the first one that I took notice to was my good friend Lou Al Ford's towards the beginning of the year, and after that, it's just been expotentially growing. Will this craze continue? Probably not, but I figured I better get in on it before it was no longer fashionable to do so.

Anyway, this weekend was quite the adventure. My friend Ross averaged it out and I broke the law about once every 16 hours. Most likely I did it a bit more than that, but those are the rough figures. Either way, I decided that sort of conduct needs to be curbed immediately and will be taking immediate measures to do so, starting with far less alkohol consumption. That should probably serve to piss off alot fewer people and keep me out of the level of heat I'm in right now. Nothing that can't be dealt with, but nothing that should have to be dealt with either.

At any rate, this looks to be a rather busy week for me. I've got a Spanish paper due tommorow, part of my Education Lesson Plan due on Wednesday, a Spanish assignment due Wednesday and Thor's Day, the final part of my lesson plan due on Friday and to cap it all off a Spanish Oral Exam on Monday. As you can see, this week will be a daily kick in the dick; and not the good kind like from Courtney Love but those really painful kinds that you get from a large Somoan man wearing a lead boot. You know what I'm talking about. The one week that I really will need a drink after it's all done is the same weekend I won't be drinking. Funny how things work out like that.